Life as a Highly Sensitive Person
Does this sound familiar?
Hello, I’m Molly and I write about my slow and simple life in the Scottish Highlands. Please subscribe to support my work and to read more of my stories. You can also find me on YouTube and shop my Etsy Store and sustainable Teemill Clothing.
I could tell within moments of waking. I was going to be fragile today.
There was no warning this time. I’d slept well, wasn’t due my period and hadn’t been over-stimulated the previous day. But there it was. The familiar rawness. As I gently went about making my breakfast, I could feel my nerves jangling. My brow creased in effort. I intentionally slowed everything down. Avoiding accidental slamming of cupboards or rattling of cutlery that I knew would cause me pain.
On returning to bed with my porridge, I reviewed my plan for the day. Seeing where I could remove anything that would be too stimulating. I decide that filming was out. I couldn’t face talking to a camera. I didn’t want to talk much at all. Today, I craved quiet.
What is a Highly Sensitive Person?
It was only a year ago that I first heard the term ‘highly sensitive person’. It was actually my mum that brought it up as something that she resonated with. As we are very similar humans, my curiosity was piqued. When I started looking into it, it felt like all the pieces were finally falling into place. Finally, I understood.
According to Psychology Today, a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) describes people that score highly in the personality trait known as ‘sensory-processing sensitivity’. This subset of the population display increased emotional sensitivity, stronger reactivity to both external and internal stimuli, like pain, hunger, light, and noise, and have a complex inner life.
It is thought that 15-20% of the population identify as being highly sensitive and there is research to suggest that this trait is genetically inherited. It is not classed as a ‘disorder’, rather as part of someone’s temperament, that is unlikely to change.
As you may imagine, given the overlapping traits, 70% of HSP’s identify as introverts, but, interestingly, extroverts can also be HSP’s.
Now I can look back at my life with this new lens, I can see how I’ve always been more sensitive.
I find loud or bright places uncomfortable or even painful. The smell of a strongly perfumed candle can cause me to recoil and feel nauseous. Crowds make me panicky. I need a lot of time alone. I have a low tolerance to stimulants. Even a milky coffee can make my heart race.
I’ve never been able to cope with horror or violence. Sad stories, real or imaginary, impact me deeply and stay with me for a long time.
If anything, I feel my sensitivity has increased with age, with other’s stories suggesting I’m not alone in this. Without me consciously being aware of it, my whole life has been shaped by this personality trait.
How does being a HSP impact your life?
Being a HSP undoubtedly makes life more of a challenge. This can especially be the case when you try and justify your decisions to others. Although my partner of 5 years has great sympathy for me, he struggles to comprehend how small moments of daily life can sometimes feel impossible.
I’ve been in a battle with my sensitivity my whole life. It is something that I have been excruciatingly ashamed of and angered by. Why can’t I just be like everyone else? Why am I so weak?
Yet, over time, I’ve learnt that living as a HSP has just as many upsides as it does downsides.
Rather than pushing my sensitivity away, I’ve learnt to channel it. My creativity has flourished under this gentle hand. So much so, I’ve built a entire career out of it.
One of the most fulfilling parts of being a HSP is the deep connection I have with animals and nature. The energy of the natural world thrums through me. The bonds I’ve created with my furry companions will last forever. This is my absolute lifeline.
My personal relationships are enriched by my super-powered empathy. I am able to truly appreciate the beauty of life. No longer embarrassed that a soft watercolour painting, or crescendo of classical music, can move me to tears.
How to thrive as a HSP
I’ve learnt a lot about living as a HSP, so I thought I’d share my strategies for those that may also identify with this personality trait.
Accept & embrace it
The first, and most important step, is to accept that your sensitivity is part of what makes you so special. When nurtured, it can be a phenomenal superpower. Never be ashamed of who you are.
Build a life that suits you
I’m so privileged that I am now self-employed, so can manage my time to suit my specific requirements. Not everyone is able to live this way, but I still think its worth being mindful of your sensitivity when making important life decisions, such as where you live and your career aspirations. Even small changes to your everyday life can make a real difference.
Don’t do things you think you ‘should’
The pressure of other’s expectations, whether real or imagined, shouldn’t mean that you go ahead with activities that will sacrifice your health. You know yourself best. It can be difficult to say no, but, if the people in your life really care about you, they will understand and you will be closer for it.
Schedule your time carefully
I created my Slow Living Notion Planner with the intention of helping myself, and other’s like me, build a more balanced life. Now, I space out ‘stimulating’ activities, like socialising with friends, and give myself plenty of breaks, so I can enjoy them rather than allowing them to overwhelm me. Rest is so important.
Find your self-care rituals
Sometimes, even with careful management, life can still feel overwhelming. To manage this, I’ve build in proactive self-care habits that help me nurture my sensitivity. For me, these include spending time in nature, reading, yoga and meditation, in addition to making sure I’m covering the basics, like eating well, staying hydrated and prioritising sleep. I’d recommend you find your own rituals.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this, and whether any of this resonates, so please do comment below.
In the end, I’m grateful for my sensitivity. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Until next week,
Molly xx
It does sound familiar, I have found that as you get older you are able to recognise these traits and cope better, recognising triggers and not being afraid to say “no”, to certain social situations or activities that don’t bring you joy. Lovely post and a very brave one…you are not alone. 💜🙏
I feel so deeply seen and validated by both this post as well as all your other great content here and on Youtube. After having my son 7 years ago, where I went through a lot, I now have to live slowly and quietly as an extremely sensitive person. Which I honestly love but it is hard as many others and the nature of society in general just do not get it. I haven't got it in me anymore to work full time but I am completely content being at home caring for my family, our house, garden and animals and to me it's enough but to others I should be doing more. Certainly makes small talk difficult when people ask the dreaded question, "What do you do?", expecting me to talk about a busy and interesting job. I often feel a little embarrassed when I don't have much to share other than homemaking and gardening etc. But I am happy and healthy and that's really all that matters and it's just so lovely when I find those who do understand, so thank you :-)