The Sunday that fell apart
When life is hard
Let me tell you about yesterday. It was Sunday and I got out of bed at 7.42am.
This may seem like a perfectly natural time to rise, or, you’d be forgiven for thinking it is rather early for a Sunday, but to my ‘must-be-out-of-bed-by-6.30-latest’ mind, this was a complete shock to the system.
The day went downhill from there.
I had plain porridge without my usual fruit. I gave up on a book 20 pages in. I didn’t do the laundry and waited a full hour before washing the dishes. One of which I didn’t even soak (and of course instantly regretted).
I was late for my walk with Skye and, on returning, left my wellies by the door, watching the browning snow slowly soak into the doormat.
I snapped at my partner and ignored messages from friends.
I spent my lunch watching New Year reset vlogs whilst spilling soup down my hoodie as I’d yet to change out of my loungewear.
I even had coffee past 3pm. Even though I knew, I knew that this would impact my sleep.
I didn’t do yoga. Didn’t meditate. Didn’t journal or do anything remotely productive.
It was a day of bare minimums and ignored to-do lists. And, to someone that thrives on getting things done and prefers active rest, this all felt rather horrible.
Now, there were of course reasons for my behaviour. Numerous excuses and caveats, but as I planned this post (in the notes app on my phone, rather than my usual 10 point Notion template), I realised that these were irrelevant. I didn’t want to fall into the trap of over-explaining myself. In fact, I didn’t really have a plan for this post at all. No research was completed. No clever angle devised. I thought it up on the spot rather than spending days mulling it over.
I just wanted to share that days like this are, in fact, quite normal.
Even in January, when everyone is setting goals and getting their life together, its ok if you feel like yours is only just hanging on by its fingertips.
Its ok to feel sad. Its even ok to wallow. You are doing the best you can and that is more than enough.
Today is Monday and I feel like myself again. Tomorrow might be different. So may the day after that. And the day after that. But all I can control is right now. That’s all we ever have.
I have no neat conclusion to this post; you are free to take from it what you will. But what I will say is that I’m so incredibly proud of you. You are doing amazing, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Remember that. You’ve got this.
Until next time,
Molly xx
Who am I?
Hello, I’m Molly, a full time writer/creator based in the Scottish Highlands. I write about all things slow living, with extra content available for my Substack members (including my monthly video tea times and seasonal book reviews).
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Here's what I try to do: if I spill soup down my dress I make sure the next time I have soup I congratulate myself if I don't spill anything. If I get up late and hate myself I make a mental note to praise myself when I get up to the alarm clock. It takes some practice but it does help when little things go wrong, you look forward to them going right! I hope today is a good day for you Molly.
I've been thinking a lot lately about my compulsion to "follow the rules," and what happens when I don't. At 68 years old, I find myself ready to ditch a lot of what I thought were "important rules for living," like your plans for a particular kind of Sunday. Let them go, those plans and rules and expectations. Let Sunday (and most days, as many as you can) unfold as they will. There will be blessings in that unfolding.