What I'm letting go of in my 30's

Some just may surprise you...

It caught me off guard. One of the rare notifications that seemed to have crept into my desktop. A photo from 5 years ago. An irresistible look back in time. How could I not look?

I was unprepared for my reaction. It was a photo of me all glammed up on a night out with my girls. A pretty standard pic of 25-year-old me. A classic bathroom mirror selfie.

I was shocked at how different I looked. Or at least, how I thought I looked. Skin-tight clothes, primped hair and a full face of makeup. This girl couldn’t be more different from my reflection now.

I was embarrassed about how much this bothered me. I couldn’t stop pouring over this image. Assessing my thinner frame and fresher, less lined face. For the first time in my life, I really started to feel old…

I know. This is a ridiculous sentiment coming from a 29-year-old. It’s also something that is very unfamiliar to me. I’ve always enjoyed getting older. Celebrating how much I’ve grown in the last year. I’ve been itching to start a brand new decade as my 30th birthday approached.

After some quiet reflection, I realized that this is not something to be sad about. I am no longer that girl who wants to wear uncomfortable clothes and dance the night away. And that’s ok. I’m living a life that makes me truly happy now.

This sparked the idea of what else I intend to let go of as I enter my 30s, so I thought I’d share these with you.

Hustle culture

If you’ve been here for a while, this one won’t surprise you.

Over the last 2 years, I’ve purposely and delightedly shunned the toxic ‘hustle culture, that seems to have engrossed my generation.

Instead, I have been embracing a much slower pace of life. This is lightyears away from the person I was in my early 20s. Ambitious and cutthroat, I was willing to work all the hours under the sun to reach the career goals I desperately wanted.

I’m still ambitious. I still work hard. However, I now avoid being busy for busy’s sake. I refuse to glorify this type of living and no longer give myself a hard time for having a rest. In fact, I congratulate myself every time I prioritize my health and well-being.

A widely different mindset that has made my life so much more enjoyable.

Traditional career goals

Having my eyes set on a career in wildlife conservation, my career goals may never have been especially ‘traditional’. Money has certainly never been a priority!

However, I still had a very conservative 9-5 in mind when I left university. I thought I’d work in conservation forever.

Covid gave me a shake-up I never saw coming. Starting my business, which was just a tentative blog in 2020, was a creative outlet I never thought I needed, let alone be good at. I finally know what it is like to really ‘love’ my work.

My heart will always be in conservation. This is a cause close to my heart and I’m so grateful for the deeper connection with the natural world that this has given me.

However, I now envision a very different type of future. I appreciate that lifestyle is just as, if not more, important than what I’m actually doing.

Now, I’m aiming to be self-employed with a myriad of different income sources that are flexible around how I want to spend my life. It may not be the easy route, but its one I know I will excel at and give me that freedom I crave.

Dressing for others

I remember when I tried on my first pair of dungarees. My eyes were wide as saucers as I spun around the living room striking poses. Exuberant at my own daring.

This was my first toe into dressing in a way that truly brought me joy. To find a style that felt authentic to me.

Before this, my wardrobe was chocker with fast fashion brands. I would wear whatever was on trend at the time. Never worrying that these cheap items barely lasted 2 washes before being discarded.

Part of this was the fear of standing out. I was still the shy 14-year-old girl at heart. Coming from a home-educated background, I was terrified of embarrassing myself when starting university. So, I just dressed like everyone else.

Minimalism made me have a long hard look at my wardrobe. Many declutters later, I gradually let go of those ‘must-have’ items that no longer fit my style, lifestyle or values.

Now my wardrobe consists of carefully curated items that I align with the values I care passionately about. I no longer dress for anyone else and I’m so much happier for it.

(You can watch my capsule wardrobe tour here.)

The need to show off

Social media provides the perfect platform for us to show off.

Whether that be a new haircut, an idyllic holiday snap, or a shiny new home. We all love to share things that make our lives look amazing.

This is only natural. None of us feel like picking up the camera when we are having a hard day. We prefer to hide those ‘ugly’ aspects of our life.

The result? Unrealistic standards that none of us can live up to. Endlessly feeling the need to update our status with something exciting. Then obsessing over likes that will never be enough. A viciously addictive cycle.

I would never tell someone to come off social media. I also appreciate that there are upsides to these platforms. However, my decision to leave these platforms has changed how I see everything (read about my decision to leave Instagram here).

I have less pressure to overshare my life now. I no longer feel the urge to snap a cute pic of my dog or a stunning sunset, just to get some sort of recognition from others. These are precious moments that I can fully enjoy in the moment. It really is a game-changer.

Unkind behavior

I remember standing in a till line with a close friend a few years ago. We were startled out of our conversation by a man shouting a sarcastic rude comment at a woman at the checkout that, according to him, was taking far too long.

Without any hesitation, my friend called out this behavior. Without unnecessary aggression or unkindness. She simply couldn’t stand by whilst another human was treated unkindly. Apart from being super proud of my friend, I remember thinking that this is the person I would like to be.

As I’ve grown, I’ve felt I’ve leaned into this more and more. Rather than shunning my sensitivity, I let this fuel my power. I no longer accept unkind behavior in my life.

I find it much easier to stand up for others. I will fight to the death for those I love. However, it’s taken longer to really start standing up for myself.

Having a political and man-centric job, I’ve often been on the receiving end of rude comments. I used to let these slide. Even when this meant I cried the entire drive home.

Now, I recognize that I shouldn’t be treated this way. With a fluttery tummy, I call out those that are rude. Calmly, and professionally, I take the necessary steps to make sure I am no longer treated unkindly. Even when that means being a whistle-blower on someone who had been getting away with this behavior for far too long.

I’m super proud of the person I am now.

I think overall, my 20’s have taught me that its ok to be me. That I deserve and am fully capable of living a life that brings me joy.

I cannot think of a better way to start a new decade….

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