I am slowly working on accepting that it’s okay to choose staying in bed for an extra ten minutes, just because I feel like it. Or to binge watch a reality TV show because that’s what I’m ’in the mood’ to watch. It’s hard though, to ‘go with the flow’ and not feel like I’m failing because I’ve not achieved x, y & z today 😅
Thank you for your refreshing honesty and self awareness. Please don't feel like a hypocrite. I enjoy your content because I do feel you're authentic and not trying to look as if you have it all worked out. I think slow living is a journey and there is no set point when you've "arrived". It means different things to different people, depending on which areas of our lives we feel we need to slow down
For me the secret to slow living is actually to slow down everything I do. I have found it a real challenge too but slowly, moment by moment, I am getting there. X
Thanks for your honesty Molly! I appreciate you even more 🦄🌈 don't feel like an imposter! The fact that you open up about your struggle with slow living is positive and show us how transparent you are. We change constantly, every day is different and slow living or any other mindset/label/ everything we glue to ourselves should be just a path we decide to follow but it doesn't have to be a condemnation if we can't stick to it or if we change it. We appreciate you just the way your are and not just because your follow a strict slow living lifestyle! This is your life and you should live it at your best. 💕
I think when we have really high standards for ourselves, we can easily fall into a pattern of being hard on ourselves for not getting it all done. I have definitely struggled with this. It's taken me a lot of time, therapy, and journaling to learn that being hard on myself is not a good way to motivate myself. The more grace and kindness I can give myself, the more I'll feel naturally motivated to do what I want to do.
Molly, that was so well put. I understand when you say that you couldn’t practice what you advocate because I feel like that with my newsletter as well sometimes but I never voice it.
Reading about the way you feel has helped me acknowledge that I am in fact a human, thus, not every season is supposed to feel and be the same. Recognising our actions and choosing to change things to align with our fundamentals is what matters in the end. I believe that it is absolutely okay to change what isn’t working for us, whenever we want.
I have been struggling so much because my mind wants to slow down and embrace the present but circumstances demand speed and focus. Thank you for making me realise that I shouldn’t crave perfection. Showing up and taking action is what matters.
Dear Molly I want to tell you what I’ve learned from you:
That a cup of tea is calming and the few minutes I take to make it and drink it is self care
To appreciate my surroundings- I can’t walk out my front door into raw nature but I can go to my local city park and walk. I live an hour from Yosemite NP - a place many people would love to visit just once and I can go for a day (except now because of the massive snowstorm!) and not to take it for granted.
To eat as close to plant based as I can and to accept that unfortunately I can’t be vegan due to a health condition that I’ve had to accept and work out with my medical team what is right for both my physical and mental health. BUT I can cook my own food- which is also good for the planet, my physical and emotional wellbeing!
My love of books, the library and reading for hours took a back seat to many other things in my life - but reading is breathing and I can advocate for myself in that books are non-negotiable!
Your “imperfections” as you say have been life changing for me - and I am grateful!
Wonderfully put Molly. Thanks for sharing this honesty, I completely get what you mean. I too suffer from anxiety and have found there is immense power and comfort in my to-do list. I know what is coming up, how to plan and prep for it and not be overwhelmed. However I have also learned, like you, to change my habits, passions and routines throughout the seasons. Its about finding balance between letting go and just being, vs being in control of the plan.
I also have this tendency to think I need to be productive all the time, to be doing things that are ultimately going to produce something or challenge me. When sometimes, a binge watch of netflix or a scroll on my phone is the downtime I am actually needing, and often that's where the magic, the creativity happens :)
I really appreciated this post, Molly. This is something I've found myself – I call myself a "slow living student" on my Substack as I'm still in the process of learning how to do it in a way that works for me! I think there's definitely a difference between the slow living aesthetic versus the practice of slow living – I'm trying my best to make sure I'm *truly* slowing down instead of feeling like I have to do things that fit within the slow living aesthetic that has been curated online. Slow living can definitely be super hard in today's world, at the end of the day I think it's mostly about chasing our joy and finding true purpose in small and simple things. I'm happy that we're all together on this journey towards finding a slow life :)
Completely get you Molly. Thank you so much for your raw transparency in sharing. I'm sure we all as subscribers can relate that you have put into words and brought clarity to what so many of us struggle with. Makes me admire you more. Much more self compassion and zero condemnation. We are all human and none of us perfect. We all just do our best in this crazy world. Big big hug.
Simplify your life even more. Pick out only one new thing to do each day. And that can be a mindful giving, thinking only of that thing as you do it. That brings peace slowly. That's surely enough. And then with long walks in nature, & food prep, that's a full day. You're doing something that really resonates with people. Bravo.
Yes! I never considered myself a perfectionist (and in a lot of ways I’m not) but a teacher of mine in university once told me I had “perfectionist tendencies” and only recently, years later, can I see what she was talking about. It’s mostly to do with my work! I’m also guilty of doing things while I watch Netflix, always having multiple things on the go. Thank you for sharing! We are all works in progress…
Very brave of you Molly and very well put into words too. I could totally relate. Coincidentally, my word for the month is "slow". And I am letting things "just be" somedays, as I have understood that I cannot possibly do everything, or read every possible book, or learn everything on the planet. I ll just enjoy what I have and nurture it well.
Hello Molly. I understand what you've been through. I live in Portugal and I live an "intentional life" that I feel is aligned with slow living. In a recent post I redefined slow living in a way that makes more sense to me and can be achieved even when you're busy. I'll share it here in hopes that he helps see yourself not as a failure but simply another person seeking joy (your word) in this world. - "Slow living is a misnomer. It’s not so much about being slow as it is about being present and intentional. To be at my most creative requires me to be present to the life around me and within me. I’ve had to divest myself (as much as possible) from the noise of life and decide intentionally what I say yes to and what I say no to."
I can't find a way to rela on weekends, either. There's always a mental list of tasks to do. But at least they are more creativity-related than the solid and strategic tasks during the week. Thank goodness I refuse to reply to emails and be on LinkedIn on weekends, but that's not enough. tbh, I can't find my place, half-resting and feeling guilty I should use the time to prepare for the week ahead.
I am slowly working on accepting that it’s okay to choose staying in bed for an extra ten minutes, just because I feel like it. Or to binge watch a reality TV show because that’s what I’m ’in the mood’ to watch. It’s hard though, to ‘go with the flow’ and not feel like I’m failing because I’ve not achieved x, y & z today 😅
I totally get that! Thank you for sharing :)
It’s such a struggle sometimes, Charlotte! But I am also unlearning “the more I do, I more I’ll feel productive” mindset.
Thank you for your refreshing honesty and self awareness. Please don't feel like a hypocrite. I enjoy your content because I do feel you're authentic and not trying to look as if you have it all worked out. I think slow living is a journey and there is no set point when you've "arrived". It means different things to different people, depending on which areas of our lives we feel we need to slow down
Thank you Suzanne, that's very kind and so true! :)
For me the secret to slow living is actually to slow down everything I do. I have found it a real challenge too but slowly, moment by moment, I am getting there. X
Thank you mother :)
Thanks for your honesty Molly! I appreciate you even more 🦄🌈 don't feel like an imposter! The fact that you open up about your struggle with slow living is positive and show us how transparent you are. We change constantly, every day is different and slow living or any other mindset/label/ everything we glue to ourselves should be just a path we decide to follow but it doesn't have to be a condemnation if we can't stick to it or if we change it. We appreciate you just the way your are and not just because your follow a strict slow living lifestyle! This is your life and you should live it at your best. 💕
Thank you for your kind words Lara! :)
I think when we have really high standards for ourselves, we can easily fall into a pattern of being hard on ourselves for not getting it all done. I have definitely struggled with this. It's taken me a lot of time, therapy, and journaling to learn that being hard on myself is not a good way to motivate myself. The more grace and kindness I can give myself, the more I'll feel naturally motivated to do what I want to do.
That's so true! Thank you for sharing :)
Molly, that was so well put. I understand when you say that you couldn’t practice what you advocate because I feel like that with my newsletter as well sometimes but I never voice it.
Reading about the way you feel has helped me acknowledge that I am in fact a human, thus, not every season is supposed to feel and be the same. Recognising our actions and choosing to change things to align with our fundamentals is what matters in the end. I believe that it is absolutely okay to change what isn’t working for us, whenever we want.
I have been struggling so much because my mind wants to slow down and embrace the present but circumstances demand speed and focus. Thank you for making me realise that I shouldn’t crave perfection. Showing up and taking action is what matters.
Thank you for sharing lovely! It can be really challenging, so I can completely relate! :)
Dear Molly I want to tell you what I’ve learned from you:
That a cup of tea is calming and the few minutes I take to make it and drink it is self care
To appreciate my surroundings- I can’t walk out my front door into raw nature but I can go to my local city park and walk. I live an hour from Yosemite NP - a place many people would love to visit just once and I can go for a day (except now because of the massive snowstorm!) and not to take it for granted.
To eat as close to plant based as I can and to accept that unfortunately I can’t be vegan due to a health condition that I’ve had to accept and work out with my medical team what is right for both my physical and mental health. BUT I can cook my own food- which is also good for the planet, my physical and emotional wellbeing!
My love of books, the library and reading for hours took a back seat to many other things in my life - but reading is breathing and I can advocate for myself in that books are non-negotiable!
Your “imperfections” as you say have been life changing for me - and I am grateful!
Xoxo
Dorothy
Oh Dorothy, this just about moved me to tears. Thank you so much for sharing. It really means the world to hear this! :)
Wonderfully put Molly. Thanks for sharing this honesty, I completely get what you mean. I too suffer from anxiety and have found there is immense power and comfort in my to-do list. I know what is coming up, how to plan and prep for it and not be overwhelmed. However I have also learned, like you, to change my habits, passions and routines throughout the seasons. Its about finding balance between letting go and just being, vs being in control of the plan.
I also have this tendency to think I need to be productive all the time, to be doing things that are ultimately going to produce something or challenge me. When sometimes, a binge watch of netflix or a scroll on my phone is the downtime I am actually needing, and often that's where the magic, the creativity happens :)
That's so true, thank you for sharing Rowena :)
I really appreciated this post, Molly. This is something I've found myself – I call myself a "slow living student" on my Substack as I'm still in the process of learning how to do it in a way that works for me! I think there's definitely a difference between the slow living aesthetic versus the practice of slow living – I'm trying my best to make sure I'm *truly* slowing down instead of feeling like I have to do things that fit within the slow living aesthetic that has been curated online. Slow living can definitely be super hard in today's world, at the end of the day I think it's mostly about chasing our joy and finding true purpose in small and simple things. I'm happy that we're all together on this journey towards finding a slow life :)
Thank you so much for sharing your experience Leah! Its true, we are all on our same imperfect journeys :)
Completely get you Molly. Thank you so much for your raw transparency in sharing. I'm sure we all as subscribers can relate that you have put into words and brought clarity to what so many of us struggle with. Makes me admire you more. Much more self compassion and zero condemnation. We are all human and none of us perfect. We all just do our best in this crazy world. Big big hug.
Thank you so much Andrea! It's sometimes scary to write about something so raw, but I'm so glad its resonated with others :)
Simplify your life even more. Pick out only one new thing to do each day. And that can be a mindful giving, thinking only of that thing as you do it. That brings peace slowly. That's surely enough. And then with long walks in nature, & food prep, that's a full day. You're doing something that really resonates with people. Bravo.
Thank you! :)
Yes! I never considered myself a perfectionist (and in a lot of ways I’m not) but a teacher of mine in university once told me I had “perfectionist tendencies” and only recently, years later, can I see what she was talking about. It’s mostly to do with my work! I’m also guilty of doing things while I watch Netflix, always having multiple things on the go. Thank you for sharing! We are all works in progress…
We are indeed, thank you Hannah! :)
Very brave of you Molly and very well put into words too. I could totally relate. Coincidentally, my word for the month is "slow". And I am letting things "just be" somedays, as I have understood that I cannot possibly do everything, or read every possible book, or learn everything on the planet. I ll just enjoy what I have and nurture it well.
Wonderful words Savita and such a good mindset! :)
Hello Molly. I understand what you've been through. I live in Portugal and I live an "intentional life" that I feel is aligned with slow living. In a recent post I redefined slow living in a way that makes more sense to me and can be achieved even when you're busy. I'll share it here in hopes that he helps see yourself not as a failure but simply another person seeking joy (your word) in this world. - "Slow living is a misnomer. It’s not so much about being slow as it is about being present and intentional. To be at my most creative requires me to be present to the life around me and within me. I’ve had to divest myself (as much as possible) from the noise of life and decide intentionally what I say yes to and what I say no to."
https://aliciamrodriguez.substack.com/p/why-i-designed-a-slow-living-life
Thank you for sharing! I love that you've adapted 'slow' to work for you! :)
It’s definitely difficult and we’re our own worst enemies, but with reflection, mindfulness, practice and experience we adapt and progress.
I’m sure a lot of people will resonate with this post Molly.
Thank you Hayley! :)
I can't find a way to rela on weekends, either. There's always a mental list of tasks to do. But at least they are more creativity-related than the solid and strategic tasks during the week. Thank goodness I refuse to reply to emails and be on LinkedIn on weekends, but that's not enough. tbh, I can't find my place, half-resting and feeling guilty I should use the time to prepare for the week ahead.
Its so tricky but I hope you allow yourself some rest :)