Do I want to be 'that girl'?

Is this wellness trend realistic?

Hello, I’m Molly and I write about my slow and simple life in the Scottish Highlands. Subscribe for free to enjoy occasional posts from me. Or, better yet, join our slow community of kindred spirits to unlock ALL my content, including exclusive writing, videos and resources, to help you live the life you REALLY crave. We’d love you to join us for a cuppa…

Another day, another aesthetic morning routine video pops up on my YouTube homepage.

The 5am starts. Exercising in matching activewear. Journaling, meditating, reading. Avocado on toast.

There was a point that I was watching one of these videos every day. I just couldn’t get enough.

I’m not the only one that has been sucked into this type of content.

The ‘that girl’ trend blew up on TikTok in April 2021. Videos with this hashtag went viral and soon creators across other social media platforms had caught on. Before long this content was everywhere and, 3 years on, its still as popular as ever.

So, who is ‘that girl’?

The internet defines this movement as -

a social media wellness trend that encourages people to be the best versions of themselves

On the face of it, this sounds positive. Creators are encouraging people to look after themselves. To celebrate the small moments of every day life. To work towards their goals and be grateful for what they have.

But as with any social media trend, it’s never that simple, is it?

As someone who has been heavily influenced by this movement, I thought it was worth examining it a little closer and decide whether this movement can really live alongside my slow living values.

That girl and slow living - a match made in heaven?

When you dig into this trend, there are elements that align with what is traditionally considered slow living.

Getting up earlier, so you don’t feel rushed in the morning. Indulging in hobbies that help you slow down, like reading, yoga or journaling. Getting outside. Taking the time to make yourself nourishing food. Staying mindful with regular meditation.

But is this realistic? Or even healthy to put ourselves under this kind of pressure?

How does it compare to how I actually live?

I don’t journal

This movement is epitomised with routines that cram in all these healthy habits that creators apparently complete every single day.

For a long time, I tried to emulate these women. I had a list of all these habits and added a tracker to my Notion, so I could feel the satisfaction of ticking them off. The problem came when these boxes remained unchecked.

My inner perfectionist couldn’t handle it.

It’s not a given that these habits will suit everyone. For me, some were relatively easy to stick to as they were things I had been doing for years, like exercising, reading or going on a walk (having a dog helps here!).

Other habits were more of a struggle. Journaling is something that I’ve never been consistent with. And, personally, I’ve yet to find much value in it. Yet I still felt like a failure when weeks went by without writing a word.

Over time, this started to weigh on my mental health.

What if I’m too old?

One of the most glaring issues with this trend is that to be ‘that girl’, you apparently have to fit certain criteria.

The most popular content almost always features young, middle-class, white women.

What if you want to be ‘that guy’? Or ‘that 40+ woman’?

Beyond this worrying lack of diversity, the perfectionism of much of this content is far from realistic for everyone. Many people don’t have the time, or energy, to devote to these idealised morning and evening routines. What if you have children? Work night shifts? Or avocado’s don’t fit within your weekly food budget?

This trend feels like an exclusive club that only a select few can be admitted to.

My life’s not ‘pretty’ enough

If you review the most popular ‘that girl’ content, there is one factor that ties them all together. They are all undeniably aesthetic.

Although, on paper, my morning routine is similar to other ‘that girls’, on an average day, it looks widely different.

I don’t own one matching set of activewear. More often than not, I workout in my dog walking clothes, which consists of plain leggings (with pulls and mud splatters) and a comfy fleece I’ve had for years.

I eat many of my breakfasts (usually overnight oats) out of a Tupperware (that is scratched and has a clip missing), that can easily be microwaved and eaten at the kitchen counter.

My skincare is minimal and my beauty regime is generally restricted to brushing my hair. When I remember.

It works for me, but its certainly not aesthetic.

I don’t own enough skincare

One of my biggest pet peeves with this movement is the amount of stuff that is often featured within these videos.

Whether its a different set of activewear for each day or numerous different skincare lotions and potions, its more than many of us own.

I’ve felt the urge myself to buy items, just so I can ‘fit in’ with these other women. Even if I had the funds, many of these items would be wasted as they just don’t fit with my lifestyle.

This goes against the minimalist values that are so integral to me and a key component of slow living.

What if I just don’t want to?

My life is never static.

I can go a whole week of 30 minute morning workouts and then another, usually on my period, where I barely touch my mat and a downward dog is about all I can manage.

We are influenced by so much, whether it be hormonal, our mental health, or the season we are currently in. We’re not made to stick to routines all the time. And that should be ok.

Its taken an embarrassingly long time for me to accept, but I am slowly starting to learn to listen to my body. To lean into the habits that feel right on the day and leave the rest, without beating myself up for it.

Life is meant to be varied and imperfect. Even for ‘that girl’.

Final thoughts

I recently wrote about how I feel like a slow living failure and, although these movements are very different, the end result is the same. Trying to live perfectly and emulate other people’s highlight reels just isn’t realistic.

Yes, we should look after ourselves. But we should do this our way and define our own version of success.

So yes, I’ll probably still continue to watch these morning routines. Perhaps I’ll get a new plant-based breakfast idea. Or a new workout routine to try. But I will no longer expect my life to look like that.

Its all about taking what you want and leaving the rest.

I hope this is a reminder to everyone reading this that everyone can be ‘that girl’ or equally choose to be something else entirely.

Until next week,

Molly xx