Why I don't have many friends

My first friend was called Chloe. We met at preschool and apparently hit it off straight away.

Every day, at pick up time, my mum would arrive and scan the room. Without fail, she would find me in a quieter corner. Away from the main group activities. But perfectly content and engrossed in playing with my one friend.

As I grew, I lost touch with Chloe. However, my tendency to restrict my social interactions to spending time with 1 or 2 people stayed the same.

Being home-schooled from the age of 13, it became more difficult to make new friends. My parents encouraged me and my 3 younger brothers to join groups or engage with their friend’s children. With some gentle encouragement, which is my family’s way, I engaged with my peers, although it never really bothered me that my social interactions were limited.

I met my best friend at 14. As she was also home-educated, we were off to a strong start. We shared our love for classic novels, 00’s rom coms and hot chocolate brimming with cream and marshmallows. It was a friendship that would stand the test of time as we are still just as close now. Once I’ve committed to a friend, I am fiercely loyal.

Friends come in all shapes and sizes. From those that you know will last forever to others that, are intense for a while, then inevitably drift as paths diverge. There is beauty to all of them.

Now, 15 years later, I have small circle of people that I truly class as friends. This is a comfortable number for me. As an introvert, I need a lot of alone time. Having fewer friends means that I can space out social interactions, whilst prioritising taking quiet time for myself, so as to prevent that sense of social overwhelm.

I flourish best when socializing on a 1 to 1 or a small group basis, especially when I am very familiar with my companions. This nourishes deeper conversation, rather than the less meaningful small talk that I find so draining.

I'm grateful that I have never felt lonely. I have a rich inner world and can while away hours letting my imagination sweep me up into new worlds.

Beyond this, I have always had a deep connection with animals and nature. My childhood was intertwined with my furry and feathered companions. I never tire of their company and they are my ultimate therapy. Either wild or domestic, when I’m close to animals, I am home.

I have always been selective about who I let into my life. I was brought up with high standards of how I should be treated. I take friendship very seriously and will go to the ends of the earth and beyond for those I care about. Being independent, I don’t like to ask much of others, but it’s important for me to know I can truly rely on someone if I do envelop them into my life.

I am exceptionally grateful to have the small group of friends I have now. I truly believe that they are the most beautiful souls and it’s a privilege to have them in my life.

Perhaps you are the same and prefer to stick to a few friends or are much more inclined to have a larger group that can be available for regular socialising. Drop a comment below, I’d love you hear your thoughts.

Whatever your situation, just make sure that its working for you. That you're not letting people into your life for the sake of feeling ‘popular’. Never waste your time on those that don’t add value to your life.

Until next week,

Molly

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