Hey Molly, apologies in advance for the long message 😂
Over the past 18 months due to health issues I have lost a lot of weight and didn’t buy anything at all until I was left with nothing apart from a a few singlets and some stuff that just swum on me.
I have started buying and building a sustainable wardrobe; created a look & feel on Pinterest to curate my style; however I’ve found that now I’ve purchased quite a few things I am struggling to stop. I’m having this dopamine hit (at least I think that’s what it is) and Ive had a shopping addiction in the past and I am aware I have a really addictive personality; but then when I started shopping and building it’s like a cascade of feeling like it’s not enough I guess? Maybe this is because it hasn’t been done slowly - but quite rapid? I’m not sure 🤷🏻♀️
Right now I’m struggling and grappling with those urges to purchase ‘one more thing’ or ‘I still need or want’ or even seeing someone else’s sustainable wardrobe wishing you had some of their pieces!! I’ve completely deleted Instagram and jumped in that deep end as it just made me feel awful and I was off it until recently the last 3 months and it’s just pulled me back into all those bad habits of comparison (stealer of joy!)
I’m feeling incredibly guilty and have spent ALOT of money not aligned with my values of going slow; living intentionally; and things my husband and I are working towards (financial freedom and savings etc). I felt like I was beyond this and then bam I’m back into the rat race and this extreme uncomfortable feeling. I guess I feel I’ve failed myself; my husband; and I was feeling like I was getting good at letting go; being intentional and mindful but then I’ve backslid into really bad habits and now sitting in this awful discomfort of shame, guilt, looking at our savings sad, and also feeling like I still have this adrenaline to just buy more because of how I’m feeling (HOW CRAZY IS THAT 🤯)
It’s been really frustrating me. I have committed to not purchasing anything else for 6 months - hard rule for me I think until I need some new things for the season of warmer weather.
Do you have any suggestions and advice and tips?
Do you have a rule where you only have so many items in your wardrobe to keep you accountable?
Firstly, I think you are being too hard on yourself. I'm all for being honest with ourselves and clear on our problem areas, but I think a bit of self-compassion goes a long way.
Secondly, I can completely relate to everything you have said. Clothes have always been my biggest trigger. I think there is so much wrapped up in it. I want to be able to express my identity and live my values, so I get joy in buying beautiful new sustainable clothing.
I've had to work hard to fight these urges and they still come in waves. Its never a straightforward process.
For me, there's a few things that have helped, which you seem to be aware of anyway. The first one is avoiding temptation by avoiding triggers. That meant removing any shopping apps from my phone, unsubscribing to brands, coming off social media entirely apart from YouTube (that was for other reasons as well), never browsing (including Pinterest) and not watching any wardrobe related content on YouTube for a good while.
Secondly, I also put myself on a shopping ban for a few months. Weirdly, this felt like a bit of a relief. There was no grey area and no excuses. It got far easier after a few weeks as well. I told lots of people in my life about it, which also made me feel accountable!
Thirdly, I would be clear on why I don't want any more clothes. I'd have a clear picture on what I wanted my life to look like instead. I'd reward myself with small things whenever I resisted temptation, like watching a YouTube video or having a favourite biscuit with a cup of tea.
Another thing that helped was intentionally noticing how quickly that dopamine hit wore off by realising I was no longer as excited about items I had already bought, even only a few weeks ago.
There's probably other things but those are the first that spring to mind!
You are worth more than what you wear. I wish you the best of luck x
Thankyou Molly for taking the time to read and then respond to this very long and vulnerable post 🤦🏻♀️ usually I am super private in these area but with this community I do feel safe expressing myself which is truely amazing ✨
Reading your comment has really shone a light onto how hard I was and am being on myself. I like how you said it’s a process and always a constant never straightforward process; always learning and growing. I can’t change it but I can be aware of it in the future and help put in place those practices and things to be more mindful. Those tips are incredible by the way Thankyou!
I love the one of not watching capsule wardrobe content or scrolling Pinterest as it’s just all temptation. Shopping ban sounds good to me; I’m gunna give that a go but maybe not so extreme as what I wrote above 😂 a couple of months seems a lot more manageable and like I can succeed at that.
That last sentence ‘you are worth more than what you wear’ really hit me in my heart and soul! Something I really needed to hear and be reminded of. Thankyou so much 💜💜 I am very grateful for your content and for this community of beautiful lovely people xx
Love this Molly. I’ve been building up a sustainable capsule wardrobe too. I do find I wear things out but I’ve accepted that as part of it all. I like your 8/10 rule! 👗 I keep party clothes in a box at the top of my wardrobe so they are away from the visual of decision making - that’s been a game changer!
Hey Molly, apologies in advance for the long message 😂
Over the past 18 months due to health issues I have lost a lot of weight and didn’t buy anything at all until I was left with nothing apart from a a few singlets and some stuff that just swum on me.
I have started buying and building a sustainable wardrobe; created a look & feel on Pinterest to curate my style; however I’ve found that now I’ve purchased quite a few things I am struggling to stop. I’m having this dopamine hit (at least I think that’s what it is) and Ive had a shopping addiction in the past and I am aware I have a really addictive personality; but then when I started shopping and building it’s like a cascade of feeling like it’s not enough I guess? Maybe this is because it hasn’t been done slowly - but quite rapid? I’m not sure 🤷🏻♀️
Right now I’m struggling and grappling with those urges to purchase ‘one more thing’ or ‘I still need or want’ or even seeing someone else’s sustainable wardrobe wishing you had some of their pieces!! I’ve completely deleted Instagram and jumped in that deep end as it just made me feel awful and I was off it until recently the last 3 months and it’s just pulled me back into all those bad habits of comparison (stealer of joy!)
I’m feeling incredibly guilty and have spent ALOT of money not aligned with my values of going slow; living intentionally; and things my husband and I are working towards (financial freedom and savings etc). I felt like I was beyond this and then bam I’m back into the rat race and this extreme uncomfortable feeling. I guess I feel I’ve failed myself; my husband; and I was feeling like I was getting good at letting go; being intentional and mindful but then I’ve backslid into really bad habits and now sitting in this awful discomfort of shame, guilt, looking at our savings sad, and also feeling like I still have this adrenaline to just buy more because of how I’m feeling (HOW CRAZY IS THAT 🤯)
It’s been really frustrating me. I have committed to not purchasing anything else for 6 months - hard rule for me I think until I need some new things for the season of warmer weather.
Do you have any suggestions and advice and tips?
Do you have a rule where you only have so many items in your wardrobe to keep you accountable?
Anyone else reading - feel free to chime in
Thanks lovely people and sorry for the rant 💜💜
Hi Casey!
Firstly, I think you are being too hard on yourself. I'm all for being honest with ourselves and clear on our problem areas, but I think a bit of self-compassion goes a long way.
Secondly, I can completely relate to everything you have said. Clothes have always been my biggest trigger. I think there is so much wrapped up in it. I want to be able to express my identity and live my values, so I get joy in buying beautiful new sustainable clothing.
I've had to work hard to fight these urges and they still come in waves. Its never a straightforward process.
For me, there's a few things that have helped, which you seem to be aware of anyway. The first one is avoiding temptation by avoiding triggers. That meant removing any shopping apps from my phone, unsubscribing to brands, coming off social media entirely apart from YouTube (that was for other reasons as well), never browsing (including Pinterest) and not watching any wardrobe related content on YouTube for a good while.
Secondly, I also put myself on a shopping ban for a few months. Weirdly, this felt like a bit of a relief. There was no grey area and no excuses. It got far easier after a few weeks as well. I told lots of people in my life about it, which also made me feel accountable!
Thirdly, I would be clear on why I don't want any more clothes. I'd have a clear picture on what I wanted my life to look like instead. I'd reward myself with small things whenever I resisted temptation, like watching a YouTube video or having a favourite biscuit with a cup of tea.
Another thing that helped was intentionally noticing how quickly that dopamine hit wore off by realising I was no longer as excited about items I had already bought, even only a few weeks ago.
There's probably other things but those are the first that spring to mind!
You are worth more than what you wear. I wish you the best of luck x
Thankyou Molly for taking the time to read and then respond to this very long and vulnerable post 🤦🏻♀️ usually I am super private in these area but with this community I do feel safe expressing myself which is truely amazing ✨
Reading your comment has really shone a light onto how hard I was and am being on myself. I like how you said it’s a process and always a constant never straightforward process; always learning and growing. I can’t change it but I can be aware of it in the future and help put in place those practices and things to be more mindful. Those tips are incredible by the way Thankyou!
I love the one of not watching capsule wardrobe content or scrolling Pinterest as it’s just all temptation. Shopping ban sounds good to me; I’m gunna give that a go but maybe not so extreme as what I wrote above 😂 a couple of months seems a lot more manageable and like I can succeed at that.
That last sentence ‘you are worth more than what you wear’ really hit me in my heart and soul! Something I really needed to hear and be reminded of. Thankyou so much 💜💜 I am very grateful for your content and for this community of beautiful lovely people xx
You're so welcome lovely! I feel blessed to have such a wonderful community :) x
Have been following your Youtube channel and now subscribed here, really love your work and what you are building and creating!
Aw thank you! So lovely to have you here :)
Love this Molly. I’ve been building up a sustainable capsule wardrobe too. I do find I wear things out but I’ve accepted that as part of it all. I like your 8/10 rule! 👗 I keep party clothes in a box at the top of my wardrobe so they are away from the visual of decision making - that’s been a game changer!
Thank you for sharing Claire! I wear things out too, don't worry!
Thank Molly love this very much. Great tips. Also thanks for the list of sustainable brands.🧡