Lessons I've learnt from 6 months off social media

Its changed my life forever

Leaving social media felt like my most radical life decision yet.

On the face of it, this sounds mildly ridiculous. Compared to my other ‘strange’ life decisions, like minimalism and living in a Tiny Home, this shouldn’t even make the list.

However, our life’s are so ingrained with social media that it almost feels like an extra appendage. A necessity to life in our modern world. How an earth would you cope without it?

Well, that’s what I’m here to write about. It has now been 6 months since I left all social media. Big caveat is I’m not counting YouTube in this, but the rest of the accounts are gone.

I had no idea what to expect and have been genuinely shocked by the impact of this decision. Without further ado, lets get into it…

Longer attention span

We’ve all heard that spending time on social media can reduce our attention span. Scrolling mindlessly through short form content, means we can struggle to stay focused on one task for long.

What is interesting though, is you can get that attention span back. It doesn’t need to be gone for good.

This is one of the biggest differences I’ve noticed since leaving social media. Without even trying, I’ve found that I’m far less distracted and am able to stay focused on a task for much longer.

This increase in stamina has had some real positive impacts on my work and my personal life. Its no coincidence that I’ve read more books in the last 6 months than I have in any other time period during my adult life.

My need to pick up my phone every 10 minutes has completely disappeared. Without social media, there’s only so much you can check emails or the weather. Its been wonderful.

Being out of the loop

I think one of the main concerns people have about leaving social media is the fear that they will suddenly be completely out of the loop.

Yes, I can concede that I am not as up to date on life events nowadays. I often hear people refer to certain trends or scandals and have no idea what they are talking about. I’m less aware that new music, movies or TV shows have come out. I may never know if a previous Facebook friend is currently in a relationship or moved house. I certainly won’t know what they had for breakfast.

And, I can hand on heart say, that I don’t care. Not one bit.

Turns out, all this information was just jumbling around my brain without really bringing my life value. In some some ways, not having this information is a positive. I no longer feel as weighed down by often dramatized bad news events, distracted by now needing to stream a new TV show or feel the pressure to follow a trend, even if it doesn’t feel right for me.

So yes, I may be a bit less informed about the world now, but I’m so much happier for it.

Deeper connection with loved ones

A Facebook friend is a funny thing isn’t it?

Can we all hand on heart really say we are friends with 200+ people?

I personally take the word ‘friend’ very seriously. This is someone that has a very important role in my life. Someone that I am completely comfortable being myself around and fills my heart with joy. That’s why I don’t have many of them (read more about this in my post here).

In coming off social media, I did run the risk of becoming more distant from my loved ones. However, I have found that the opposite is true.

Now, I make more time to cherish those relationships that are really important to me. I regularly schedule in person catch ups or phone conversations. I get sent baby photos (or pet photos) that I won’t see online. I’ve even started up a pen pal relationship with one friend that I used to regularly connect with on Instagram.

My heart is full with these wonderful connections that have flourished outside of apps.

Appreciate the quiet

My world is so much quieter without social media.

I hadn’t realised how noisy it was until I no longer inhabited these spaces. Even with my carefully curated feeds, I was still bombarded with ads and the odd shouty reel or two.

As a more sensitive person, I found this draining. I’ve really noticed the positive impacts of this quiet and find myself looking up to enjoy the world around me rather than being sucked into to a screen.

I’ve taken even more steps to avoid these noisy distractions. My phone is now permanently on Do not Disturb, so only phone calls and pre-set calendar notifications come through. I schedule in responding to messages and have all other notifications turned off.

I’ve taken to writing out more recipes by hand or choosing sites without those painful pop ups. I mute any adverts between the few TV shows I watch. I’ve changed my home page from the default news updates to a serene background. I’m even trialling YouTube premium so I can enjoy this space without adverts.

Its taken a burden off that I didn’t even know I had.

Trusting my intuition

At the start of 2023, I made the decision to shrug off the typical New Year goals and focus on making time for nourishing activities that help me slow down (watch my video about this decision here).

I am certain I would not have made this decision if I was still on social media.

In previous New Years, I have subconsciously felt the need to push or reinvent myself as everyone else was online. The combined impact of this comparison and the less quiet space to reflect meant that I felt like I was just being pulled along with the crowd, without assessing what I really needed.

I have developed a deeper relationship with my intuition in the last 6 months. Its been a wonderful experience to really listen to myself and mould my life into something that feels authentic to me. I’m so grateful for this.

Its all or nothing

I spent years trying to create a balanced relationship with social media.

It was a daily or even hourly trial. I would have to put all these complicated restrictions in place so I could just function. I implemented app timers and even tried to hide my phone from myself.

On reflection, this was clearly an addition. Fighting this was exhausting.

Even when I did manage to follow my rules, the impact of social media crept into my psyche. It never really went away.

That’s why I am a firm believer that it is all or nothing. You are either on social media or you are not. The impacts of it are really the same no matter how much time you spend on it. Even 10 minutes a day can have a dramatic impact on your life.

This may be an unpopular opinion and I am of course biased by my own experience. It is also something you can’t really appreciate until after you leave social media for good. If you are one of these few, please do share your thoughts as I’m curious to see if its just me…

Its not essential

This is the last and most important lesson. Social media is not essential to live a full and happy life.

Yes, I cannot deny their are upsides to social media. However, when all is said and done, it only really comes down to convivence.

I’ve not been left feeling bored, uninspired or left out. My relationships are stronger than ever. I am still able to function perfectly in the modern world. Yes, occasionally its trickier to find information about an event or a cafe’s menu, but if this occasional inconvenience is the only challenge of a life without social media, I’ll take it.

This experience is summarised by a moment I had a few weeks ago. I was standing at a train station and was delighted to witness the most stunning rainbow I’d even seen. In awe, I glanced around at the other passengers to see their reaction. No one else had noticed. They are all looking down. At their phones. On glancing up again, the rainbow was gone.

I’ll leave this with you.

I truly hope this post is helpful and, as always, please share your thoughts and experiences below.

Until next week

Molly xx

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