Oh, that scene from the train station. Thank you for sharing your rainbow. I often think, while gazing at the moon or stars on my way home from work, how many truly notice that. How many notice the blackbirds quarreling over territory in the bushes by the railroad? Leaving social media has been a wonderful release. It has opened up a whole new world, one that I love being part of.
Hi Molly, thankyou for sharing your experiences with us. It's so insightful to hear about the changes you have noticed. I am 58 and was talking to my partner, who is 64 about this over dinner last night. We grew up without social media...I didn't even have the internet until I was probably well into my 30s. In our childhood home the radio would be on during breakfast. Probably Radio 1. The news would be a 2 -3 minute summary on the hour and the weather report was very general...for the whole of the UK. Living in the highlands you'll know that the weather in Newtonmore can be very different to the weather in Kingussie, so a UK wide weather report was just a joke. Anyway, we didn't miss out on life....in fact I feel I had a very full childhood and early adulthood. I was able to experience my painfully embarrasing teenage years without anything being captured on video and shared. It was a much more freeing way to grow up. Like you say when you're not stuck with your head in your phone you can experience so much more of real life, like your stunning rainbow story. I just feel eternally grateful that I grew up without having to experience the addictiveness of social media. Well done on creating your own authentic path in this modern world. You will definitely experience a much fuller life with the choices you are making. Sending love x
I'm an abstainer, I can't manage moderation, it just doesn't work for me. I left instagram (my last social media platform) years ago, and have to say it was really freeing. But in 2020 I broke my ankle and all the weeks of healing on the couch, meant I found my way back there and discovered youtube as more than just a how to knit tutorial site. Since then it's been a constant battle and I've really noticed the decline in my mental health as well. Today I've just deleted my insta account again, just have to get through the month of waiting for it to be completely gone. I need to look at my youtube habit as well. I know I am more content, peaceful and generally more positive when I'm not watching other people live their (highlight reel) lives and I'm just going about the world in my tiny space at the bottom of the world. I know my intuition is an ignored resource when I'm online too much, it's crazy the way I seem to need approval or clarification to live my own life, from people I don't know, will never meet in real life and probably wouldn't even connect with if I did meet them. Hello girlfriend, you have the knowledge and the answers within you, just get out there and live your life. ~ that's a note for me not you
After toying with a few periods of quitting Instagram over the last few years, I finally went cold turkey in mid-2021 as I was embarking on a big challenge - studying my Masters in a topic that was completely new to me, and as a mature student returning to study after 11 years away! I have found the same things you have Molly - that really, you don’t miss much at all. I’m just as close with my true friends, taking more time to stay in touch with them, I know less about trends, and have less ‘comparison-itis’ which was a huge problem for me, making me feel like my life was inadequate.
I now enjoy Substack and YouTube, but I will admit I’ve used the latter as quite the crutch in a similar fashion to how I previously used Instagram - so that is something I want to examine this year.
I haven’t found my attention span to be much better, but I think that’s due to some challenges with my mental health and also the brain overload that is writing a thesis! I haven’t really read many books over the last two years whilst studying, and I’m really hoping that this hobby comes back into my life when I finally hand in my thesis and an no longer reading dry academic articles! Fingers crossed!
P.S. I should say I created a new Facebook account that uses my University email and has no ‘friends’. I use to to stay up to date with a hiking group I’m part of and to get second hand finds on marketplace! But I don’t follow any pages nor people, so it’s not a time suck or distraction.
I can't tell you how much this resonates with me. I'm 62 year's old and since I retired 6 year's ago I have slowly become more and more addicted to social media to the point that I would sometimes get up in the middle of the night and check my feed. I, like you, knew that to quit I had to go all or nothing, including YouTube (sorry). I have lost count of how many times I have deleted accounts, deactivated accounts, created new accounts etc, it is a true addiction.
Then after a conversation with my eldest daughter I realised how much my addiction was affecting my relationships with my family and it was my tipping point. Hearing her say I'm constantly distracted and never listen properly was the slap in the face I needed. Addiction is an act of selfishness, intentional or not, and it was affecting those I love the most. So it's cold turkey again and I have the inner conviction that this time I can free myself. I successfully gave up alcohol 4 years ago, I can do this too.
Thank you for this putting into words what I needed to hear.
"Scrolling mindlessly through short form content, means we can struggle to stay focused on one task for long." - I struggle with my attention span at the best of times as I'm autistic and ADHD, but upon reading this, I realised that social media IS making it worse! When I've taken a week or two off here and there, I've gotten way more writing done/other tasks. I keep telling myself "I'll go on it less, just try to find a balance", but that's so much easier said than done. Maybe you're right, maybe it is all or nothing. I just hate the feeling of FOMO and the internet has been a massive part of my life for over 2 decades now, I just don't know if or how to sever ties :(
Molly, I am in complete agreement with you, as well as with the other readers who commented. I had previously commented that I don't own a cell phone, so that is not a distraction for me. Some years ago I was persuaded to get a Facebook account because that was how my younger family members communicated. I would check regularly, but soon realized that I didn't need to know about all the drama in their lives on a daily basis. Now I go it once a month at the very most. If it is something important, I can be reached by phone (land line) or email.
I also gave up watching the evening news on Television. The news, particularly cable news, seems to be geared for entertainment where everything is a crisis. I would feel depressed afterward, and I finally asked myself why I was stressing over things that I really had no control over. I am much happier now. Wishing you all the best from California.
I agree 100%. I've been doing the same as you concerning social media and pop media in general and am so much happier and more at peace because of it. Your rainbow story really sums it up. Love it!
Molly: thank you for sharing this. I am really now seeing answered prayers to cancel my Facebook. I have this weird fear of letting go of Instagram because I enjoy recipes, cute dog videos, and seeing what loved ones post... however I do go down the rabbit hole to the explore button and get lost in all the things.... I loved how you wrote about more quiet. I am very sensitive to loud noises... I have told my mom I wish I was in my thirties in the generation you were in. She didn’t have a cell phone or social media... how refreshing! Thank you for this post. I need to look up and love myself more and my people! I truly enjoy your videos and posts. Thank you for your time and words! Sending warm wishes from Virginia!
Lovely to read your experience, as it's much the same as mine when I have come off social media. I have Youtube premium and really enjoy that you can have that resource as well as Youtube Music without any ads, which are really impactful to sensitive folks who want to avoid the mental clutter and psychological manipulation that is marketing. I've done penpaling as well and really love it. Would love to start again. Enjoying your Substack so thank you!
I'm trying this now - I'm only 4 days from a complete cold-turkey approach, before I've tried the boundary setting of only 1/2 accounts, but you so easily deviate! I suddenly day 2 when I went to reach for my phone for no reason at all, just how much of an addiction it is! I especially related to the part you wrote about the quiet - my mind constantly seems busy, even with only 30 mins SM time a day, it's one thing, along with more focus that I'm hoping to gain from quitting too! You've made me want to be more determined to quit for good!
Hi Molly. Really enjoy your lovely views and videos. And it all has given me food for thought, to get outside more, slow down, bake and get back into reading an painting so that you for that, I had parked it all for too long. In relation to social media, I have ditched it too. I'm 45 yrs old and I was very lucky to have had my teenage years and 20's totally free from it. My teens and 20s were the best years, so much fun. I'm lucky to be able to say that, it makes me very sad that so many young people do not feel this way about their youthbecuas eof the severe pressures to be perfect, as social media encourages. I never got into social media in a big way, only because I am a very private person and something about it just didn't sit well with me. However when Instagram came along I jumped on it purely because I loved the pictures of fashion, interiors and all sorts of aesthetically pleasing content. I realised after a few years I was hooked and obsessed with checking it regularly. The comparisons made me feel sad and angry and the amount of time wasted on it, made me sadder. It's gone now and it's been all good. Particularly all the time I have found to read, bake and paint!! Thanks for introducing me to substack by the way. Lovely wirters here!
Thank you for writing this piece! I felt all of the things you said!
I read Cal Newport's Deep Life in January this year and I deleted Instagram from my phone before even finishing the book. I went without having the app on my phone for a few months, only occasionally checking it on my laptop browser once in a while. I still had FOMO, afraid of missing things. Then I realized that there will always be things that I don't know, like the pop culture news you talked about. Even for people who are constantly scrolling, they cannot keep up with everything!
I also "relapsed" for a few few when I was traveling because I wanted to show photos and videos on my Instagram. Then it got so overwhelming for me, the constant noise and buzzing in my head even when I was not checking it. I finally deleted it again, and similar to your experience, calmness and quietude returned again. Sometimes it gets boring, but boring is good!
The only social media I’m on, and have been for the last five or so years, is this. (I was so pleased to not be on social media through the pandemic!) Notes has me feeling similarly addicted however, so it’s only a matter of time before I ditch this too and only read books from now on!
I agree with you here! It's all or nothing. For the past decade I told myself I am "only" on instagram and nothing else, but boy did it take a lot of my time and energy, especially the way it has evolved through the years.
But I have not been able to shed WhatsApp, which is the only way I connect to my family and friends back home. At least though, this is a small list of really close people, though I must say sometimes group chat can go crazy :)
Oh, that scene from the train station. Thank you for sharing your rainbow. I often think, while gazing at the moon or stars on my way home from work, how many truly notice that. How many notice the blackbirds quarreling over territory in the bushes by the railroad? Leaving social media has been a wonderful release. It has opened up a whole new world, one that I love being part of.
Thank you lovely! It really has made me far more observant and I love it!
Hi Molly, thankyou for sharing your experiences with us. It's so insightful to hear about the changes you have noticed. I am 58 and was talking to my partner, who is 64 about this over dinner last night. We grew up without social media...I didn't even have the internet until I was probably well into my 30s. In our childhood home the radio would be on during breakfast. Probably Radio 1. The news would be a 2 -3 minute summary on the hour and the weather report was very general...for the whole of the UK. Living in the highlands you'll know that the weather in Newtonmore can be very different to the weather in Kingussie, so a UK wide weather report was just a joke. Anyway, we didn't miss out on life....in fact I feel I had a very full childhood and early adulthood. I was able to experience my painfully embarrasing teenage years without anything being captured on video and shared. It was a much more freeing way to grow up. Like you say when you're not stuck with your head in your phone you can experience so much more of real life, like your stunning rainbow story. I just feel eternally grateful that I grew up without having to experience the addictiveness of social media. Well done on creating your own authentic path in this modern world. You will definitely experience a much fuller life with the choices you are making. Sending love x
Thank you so much for sharing your experience Heather. Its so wonderful to be able to reflect on such a nourishing childhood. They way it should be :)
I’m almost the same age as you and totally agree with your reflections. Although I’m about as far south on the globe as you are north.
I'm an abstainer, I can't manage moderation, it just doesn't work for me. I left instagram (my last social media platform) years ago, and have to say it was really freeing. But in 2020 I broke my ankle and all the weeks of healing on the couch, meant I found my way back there and discovered youtube as more than just a how to knit tutorial site. Since then it's been a constant battle and I've really noticed the decline in my mental health as well. Today I've just deleted my insta account again, just have to get through the month of waiting for it to be completely gone. I need to look at my youtube habit as well. I know I am more content, peaceful and generally more positive when I'm not watching other people live their (highlight reel) lives and I'm just going about the world in my tiny space at the bottom of the world. I know my intuition is an ignored resource when I'm online too much, it's crazy the way I seem to need approval or clarification to live my own life, from people I don't know, will never meet in real life and probably wouldn't even connect with if I did meet them. Hello girlfriend, you have the knowledge and the answers within you, just get out there and live your life. ~ that's a note for me not you
cheers Kate
Thank you for sharing Kate!
After toying with a few periods of quitting Instagram over the last few years, I finally went cold turkey in mid-2021 as I was embarking on a big challenge - studying my Masters in a topic that was completely new to me, and as a mature student returning to study after 11 years away! I have found the same things you have Molly - that really, you don’t miss much at all. I’m just as close with my true friends, taking more time to stay in touch with them, I know less about trends, and have less ‘comparison-itis’ which was a huge problem for me, making me feel like my life was inadequate.
I now enjoy Substack and YouTube, but I will admit I’ve used the latter as quite the crutch in a similar fashion to how I previously used Instagram - so that is something I want to examine this year.
I haven’t found my attention span to be much better, but I think that’s due to some challenges with my mental health and also the brain overload that is writing a thesis! I haven’t really read many books over the last two years whilst studying, and I’m really hoping that this hobby comes back into my life when I finally hand in my thesis and an no longer reading dry academic articles! Fingers crossed!
P.S. I should say I created a new Facebook account that uses my University email and has no ‘friends’. I use to to stay up to date with a hiking group I’m part of and to get second hand finds on marketplace! But I don’t follow any pages nor people, so it’s not a time suck or distraction.
Thank you for sharing! Really interesting to hear about your experience :)
Molly I have mentioned that I quit Facebook. I have never been on any other social media platforms other than YouTube.
I can't tell you how much this resonates with me. I'm 62 year's old and since I retired 6 year's ago I have slowly become more and more addicted to social media to the point that I would sometimes get up in the middle of the night and check my feed. I, like you, knew that to quit I had to go all or nothing, including YouTube (sorry). I have lost count of how many times I have deleted accounts, deactivated accounts, created new accounts etc, it is a true addiction.
Then after a conversation with my eldest daughter I realised how much my addiction was affecting my relationships with my family and it was my tipping point. Hearing her say I'm constantly distracted and never listen properly was the slap in the face I needed. Addiction is an act of selfishness, intentional or not, and it was affecting those I love the most. So it's cold turkey again and I have the inner conviction that this time I can free myself. I successfully gave up alcohol 4 years ago, I can do this too.
Thank you for this putting into words what I needed to hear.
Michelle.
Such a powerful story Michelle, thank you so much for sharing. I wish you all the best with your journey :)
"Scrolling mindlessly through short form content, means we can struggle to stay focused on one task for long." - I struggle with my attention span at the best of times as I'm autistic and ADHD, but upon reading this, I realised that social media IS making it worse! When I've taken a week or two off here and there, I've gotten way more writing done/other tasks. I keep telling myself "I'll go on it less, just try to find a balance", but that's so much easier said than done. Maybe you're right, maybe it is all or nothing. I just hate the feeling of FOMO and the internet has been a massive part of my life for over 2 decades now, I just don't know if or how to sever ties :(
It can be difficult! You could try coming off for a set period of time, like a month, and see how you feel after? Hope that helps :)
Molly, I am in complete agreement with you, as well as with the other readers who commented. I had previously commented that I don't own a cell phone, so that is not a distraction for me. Some years ago I was persuaded to get a Facebook account because that was how my younger family members communicated. I would check regularly, but soon realized that I didn't need to know about all the drama in their lives on a daily basis. Now I go it once a month at the very most. If it is something important, I can be reached by phone (land line) or email.
I also gave up watching the evening news on Television. The news, particularly cable news, seems to be geared for entertainment where everything is a crisis. I would feel depressed afterward, and I finally asked myself why I was stressing over things that I really had no control over. I am much happier now. Wishing you all the best from California.
I'm so glad to hear that you feel happier now :)
I agree 100%. I've been doing the same as you concerning social media and pop media in general and am so much happier and more at peace because of it. Your rainbow story really sums it up. Love it!
I'm so glad its brought you peace :)
Molly: thank you for sharing this. I am really now seeing answered prayers to cancel my Facebook. I have this weird fear of letting go of Instagram because I enjoy recipes, cute dog videos, and seeing what loved ones post... however I do go down the rabbit hole to the explore button and get lost in all the things.... I loved how you wrote about more quiet. I am very sensitive to loud noises... I have told my mom I wish I was in my thirties in the generation you were in. She didn’t have a cell phone or social media... how refreshing! Thank you for this post. I need to look up and love myself more and my people! I truly enjoy your videos and posts. Thank you for your time and words! Sending warm wishes from Virginia!
Thank you lovely! I hope you manage to find some more quiet :)
Lovely to read your experience, as it's much the same as mine when I have come off social media. I have Youtube premium and really enjoy that you can have that resource as well as Youtube Music without any ads, which are really impactful to sensitive folks who want to avoid the mental clutter and psychological manipulation that is marketing. I've done penpaling as well and really love it. Would love to start again. Enjoying your Substack so thank you!
Thank you lovely! So great to hear we've had similar experiences :).
P.S., I've just checked out your Substack and your photos are beautiful!
aw thank you!!
I'm trying this now - I'm only 4 days from a complete cold-turkey approach, before I've tried the boundary setting of only 1/2 accounts, but you so easily deviate! I suddenly day 2 when I went to reach for my phone for no reason at all, just how much of an addiction it is! I especially related to the part you wrote about the quiet - my mind constantly seems busy, even with only 30 mins SM time a day, it's one thing, along with more focus that I'm hoping to gain from quitting too! You've made me want to be more determined to quit for good!
Hi Molly. Really enjoy your lovely views and videos. And it all has given me food for thought, to get outside more, slow down, bake and get back into reading an painting so that you for that, I had parked it all for too long. In relation to social media, I have ditched it too. I'm 45 yrs old and I was very lucky to have had my teenage years and 20's totally free from it. My teens and 20s were the best years, so much fun. I'm lucky to be able to say that, it makes me very sad that so many young people do not feel this way about their youthbecuas eof the severe pressures to be perfect, as social media encourages. I never got into social media in a big way, only because I am a very private person and something about it just didn't sit well with me. However when Instagram came along I jumped on it purely because I loved the pictures of fashion, interiors and all sorts of aesthetically pleasing content. I realised after a few years I was hooked and obsessed with checking it regularly. The comparisons made me feel sad and angry and the amount of time wasted on it, made me sadder. It's gone now and it's been all good. Particularly all the time I have found to read, bake and paint!! Thanks for introducing me to substack by the way. Lovely wirters here!
Thank you for writing this piece! I felt all of the things you said!
I read Cal Newport's Deep Life in January this year and I deleted Instagram from my phone before even finishing the book. I went without having the app on my phone for a few months, only occasionally checking it on my laptop browser once in a while. I still had FOMO, afraid of missing things. Then I realized that there will always be things that I don't know, like the pop culture news you talked about. Even for people who are constantly scrolling, they cannot keep up with everything!
I also "relapsed" for a few few when I was traveling because I wanted to show photos and videos on my Instagram. Then it got so overwhelming for me, the constant noise and buzzing in my head even when I was not checking it. I finally deleted it again, and similar to your experience, calmness and quietude returned again. Sometimes it gets boring, but boring is good!
The only social media I’m on, and have been for the last five or so years, is this. (I was so pleased to not be on social media through the pandemic!) Notes has me feeling similarly addicted however, so it’s only a matter of time before I ditch this too and only read books from now on!
I agree with you here! It's all or nothing. For the past decade I told myself I am "only" on instagram and nothing else, but boy did it take a lot of my time and energy, especially the way it has evolved through the years.
But I have not been able to shed WhatsApp, which is the only way I connect to my family and friends back home. At least though, this is a small list of really close people, though I must say sometimes group chat can go crazy :)
This also explains why I am so reluctant with notes here on Substack :)